As a mom to three boys and only boys, I know I’ll be bombarded with this question by complete strangers for the rest of my life. In fact, I’ve come to expect it. I’m no longer upset or hurt by the question as I once was. Time and experience has helped me deal with it. So much so that now when people ask me the question of whether I’m going to try for a girl, I hardly flinch or get upset. I simply response back saying “We wanted three kids and we have three happy, healthy and amazing boys, why would I want anything different?” And that pretty much ends the conversation.
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that there are people who actually would like to have kids of a certain gender. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. It’s a personal choice, albeit one that we have little control over, but I will never rob anyone of their feelings. It is what it is. However, those feelings and thoughts and needs belong to the parents and nobody else.
It’s hurtful and it’s sad but most of all, it’s untrue! My boys are my life. They bring me so much joy and happiness and their relationship is so special and unique, I can’t even imagine it any other way. Sure they are a handful, and they often fight and don’t listen. But aren’t all kids like that? Girl or boys, they both bring an equal amount of joy to parents. Why are we even discussing our offspring’s gender – especially with strangers?
THEY ARE ENOUGH!
You know what I love? I love it when people find out I have three boys and their immediate reaction is “blessed!” or “Wow! You’re a lucky mom!”. Yes, I’ve had those awesome, inspiring, uplifting, happy, meaningful and truthful reactions. However, they are rare and far between and often don’t happen when I’m with all three of my boys so they can hear it too.
Next time you’re around a mom of all boys (or all girls), especially a stranger, please bite your tongue! The sage old saying of “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” still holds true! If not for me, do it for my boys who ARE ENOUGH!
Well-said, Maya! People should stop projecting their own opinions, wants and needs onto others. Families come in many different combinations, and there is no “right” one. Let’s celebrate all families.
Well said! Love you. Thanks for your love & support ❤
This is a beautiful post. As a mom of two boys, I get the same question all the time. “Are you going to try for a girl?” Nope, I’m going to try for a happy, healthy baby!!! That’s what is most important <3
Love this article.
Yep, even now that my boys are 10 and 12, I still get asked if I’m going to try for a girl! I’m happy with my two boys and honestly think I was meant to be a boy mom!
I have actually found as a single child parent to a girl (after many miscarriages, an ectopic, and followed by a hysterectomy at 26) that it is the parents of several boys that are pushy to have boys and how sucky girl parents are compared to boy parents. I’m happy to be a parent at all.
So true! Thank you so much for this post!
I can completely relate to this post. Although it didn’t seem like enough after hearing Maddox was going to be a boy, in my heart of hearts, I know I was meant to be a mama of boys
Awww. Love your honesty. The feelings are real both way!