{"id":7096,"date":"2015-08-19T09:48:31","date_gmt":"2015-08-19T13:48:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mayahoodblog.com\/?p=7096"},"modified":"2023-06-30T06:27:48","modified_gmt":"2023-06-30T10:27:48","slug":"what-not-to-say-to-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mayahoodblog.com\/what-not-to-say-to-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"What NOT to say to parents"},"content":{"rendered":"

I know I haven’t been a parent that long (aka almost five years), but the amount of remarks that are made about my parenting or my kids are endless. \u00a0The comments\u00a0are made by the likes of family, friends and strangers and while often they are well meaning, sometimes I think people are just clueless. \u00a0Some people just don’t adhere to the golden rule of If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/em>To enlighten those of you who might be wondering if you’ve made a faux pas\u00a0before (heck, I know I have ), here’s a list of some comments\u00a0that you should NOT make to parents.<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0You look so tired\u00a0<\/strong>Is that just a really nice way of saying I look like crap? Yes, I’m tired. In fact, I’m exhausted. I’m a stay at home mom and I have three kids under the age of five home with me all day, every day, with not much help. \u00a0I’m still breastfeeding the youngest and guess what? He still wakes up at night (I know, I have to nip that issue in the butt). I don’t need a reminder that I look tired – I am tired!<\/p>\n

\"Solo

Solo parenting at the Blue Jays game<\/p><\/div>\n

2. You must be so busy… Especially with three kids\u00a0<\/strong>Yes, you’re right, I am busy. But you know who else is busy? Every other parent. \u00a0It doesn’t matter if you have one or three or even 19 kids, parents are busy, period! Instead of pointing out the obvious, help me out. I have two hands but three kids. You do the math. \u00a0Unless you’re trying to empathize and start a dialogue, please follow up on that sentence with the following: Can I grab you some coffee? Can I get you something from the nearby grocery store? Want me to grab you some lunch? \u00a0I need time people, something I have none of these days. A helping hand would go a long way. \u00a0Even just the offer would mean the world to me.<\/p>\n

\"Here's

Here’s a nice coffee shop, thank you!<\/p><\/div>\n

3. Any comment about people’s procreation strategy. \u00a0<\/strong>Is she an only child? Will you be trying for more? They’re ALL yours?\u00a0Are you going to try\u00a0for a girl? \/ did you try for a girl?\u00a0Stop making assumption about people’s\u00a0procreation strategy. Whether or not someone\u00a0wanted a particular sex or a certain number of\u00a0kids is none of your business. \u00a0Obviously this conversation is completely okay with a good friend, but not okay if you’re a stranger or if I know you for like one second. \u00a0Besides, what is so wrong with having kids of all the same sex. \u00a0Why does our society frown on one gender over another? And what if we did want a girl. Do you really want me to break down and cry for you? I don’t think so. And for the record: We wanted three kids, regardless of sex. If we were going to try for a fourth, guess what we’ll most likely have? Another boy.<\/p>\n

\"three<\/p>\n

4. Do they look like their dad?\u00a0<\/strong>Look, I get it. I’m a dark haired, dark skinned women walking around with three light skinned, blond hair boys and usually, without my husband in tow. \u00a0They don’t look like me, but so what? It’s called genetics. But\u00a0what if I wasn’t their biological parent? Why even bring it up. Just don’t go there people… just don’t.<\/p>\n

\"Clearly,

Clearly, the two blond ones look like their dad!<\/p><\/div>\n

5.\u00a0Your baby is fussy. \u00a0<\/strong>Yes, I know. I live with said baby. I’m out and about trying to normalize my life and talk to other adults about anything that’s NOT baby related. \u00a0Yet, all you can do is remind me of my fussy baby? Thanks but no thanks Sherlock! See the\u00a0golden rule of talking above.<\/p>\n

6. Any parenting comment by someone who doesn’t have kids.\u00a0<\/strong>If you don’t have any kids, you haven’t earned your right to make any suggestions or comments about a parent’s style. Trust me on this one. You’ll only feel like a total fool when you have your own kids and realize what a total jerk you were.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0They’re such boys!\u00a0<\/strong>Who? My three sons?\u00a0Yes, I have three boys, I know. They’re high energy, wild, loud and they rough house. But you know what else? They also love to sit and play pretend. They love to draw, paint, apply biab dolly<\/a> nail polish on each other, and they love sitting down quietly for hours on end being read to. I know this because on several occasions I have sat down and read books to them for hours on end. For some reason, no one stops to say “Wow, they’re such girls!” You know why? Because there’s no such thing as girl versus boy activities. \u00a0Can we please stop with the gender generalization? Kids are kids. Some are quieter and some our louder. Some are more relaxed and chilled while others can’t stand still for a moment. I know boys and girls that fall into both categories. It’s annoying and frustrating to hear that phrase. Especially since I clearly know I have boys. I gave birth to them…duh!<\/p>\n

\"I

I can’t relax. They always fine me!<\/p><\/div>\n

That’s it! Anything to add to my list?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know I haven’t been a parent that long (aka almost five years), but the amount of remarks that are made about my parenting or my kids are endless. \u00a0The comments\u00a0are made by the likes of family, friends and strangers and while often they are well meaning, sometimes I think people are just clueless. \u00a0Some […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7211,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"How many times have you heard the phrase \"You must be so busy!\"? 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