{"id":53,"date":"2011-12-22T11:00:32","date_gmt":"2011-12-22T16:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mayahoodblog.com\/?p=53"},"modified":"2018-03-06T21:42:20","modified_gmt":"2018-03-07T02:42:20","slug":"ladies-can-you-keep-a-secret","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mayahoodblog.com\/ladies-can-you-keep-a-secret\/","title":{"rendered":"Ladies, can you keep a secret?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m going to let you in on a little secret.\u00a0 It’s something that you’ve probably heard about but never knew anyone who experienced it.\u00a0 It’s a dirty little secret that no one talks about, but it happened to me.\u00a0 It’s called the baby blues<\/a>, and yes, I had them!<\/p>\n

When I was about 4 months pregnant, my husband and I thought it would be a great idea to renovate our house.\u00a0 Sorry, did I say renovate? I meant tear-down our house.\u00a0 Gut it all out and leave nothing but the outside walls.\u00a0 I bring this up because doing this made me happy.\u00a0 During the 6 month process, which ended the day we brought our son Kyle home from the hospital, I was maybe upset for a total of 2 days.\u00a0 I was never really stressed or overwhelmed, even though\u00a0we had to change contractors half way through and almost\u00a0nothing went according to plan.\u00a0 I was just excited to have the house of my dreams and nothing, not even crazy pregnancy\u00a0hormones,\u00a0could get in the way of that excitement.\u00a0 Which totally ill-prepared me for what was about to come next.<\/p>\n

The first\u00a0few days when\u00a0we brought Kyle home\u00a0I was very focused.\u00a0 I had a new-born baby that needed me and I finally got to meet the person that I carried for 9+ months.\u00a0 I loved having our family and friends over to meet Kyle and\u00a0I even\u00a0felt that\u00a0I was sleeping “a lot” for a new mom. But then, out of no where, it hit me.\u00a0 I couldn’t stop the tears at this point, I had no control over them.\u00a0 My husband would ask me what’s wrong, and all I could answer was “nothing”.\u00a0 I wasn’t lying, I just had no idea why I was crying, but I couldn’t stop myself.\u00a0 Next, came the crazy dreams.\u00a0 I dreamed of holding Kyle in my arms, walking down the stairs with him, both of us falling, him hurt and next thing I know, John was divorcing me.\u00a0 I told John about this dream, and being the amazing person he is, he said “I would never divorce you.”\u00a0 Of course, that made me cry even more…<\/p>\n

Being Jewish,\u00a0Kyle had to get a\u00a0brit\u00a0milah<\/a>\u00a0\/ bris\u00a0(circumcision) at 8 days old.\u00a0 Lets just say I was a total wreck that day.\u00a0 I couldn’t stop crying for a full hour. I had been to\u00a0many brit-milah’s\u00a0before, always stood in the back while it was happening, and never really thought much about it.\u00a0 I knew that the show must go on, but I wasn’t happy about it. I mean, it’s a boy’s right of passage as a Jew, and we’ve been doing it for millions of years, so who am I to stop it now?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Kyle’s bris<\/p><\/div>\n

But when it came to my\u00a0own son, I wanted to stop it.\u00a0 Luckily,\u00a0I was\u00a0sent a gift, and it was in the form of a friend, A,\u00a0who had given birth to her own daughter a few weeks before Kyle was born.\u00a0 Emotionally, she was going through the same feelings as me, so I trusted her opinion.\u00a0 She said something along the lines of “millions of Jewish boys have been circumcised\u00a0before and they’re all okay and no one’s the wiser (since it was done at such a young age)”.\u00a0 She was right,\u00a0and so, the show went on.\u00a0 Kyle got to taste his first alcoholic drink (he is a Fitzpatrick after all), and after it was all said and done, it was actually a pleasant “event” with all of our close family and friends.<\/p>\n

However, I still couldn’t shake feeling ”blue”.\u00a0 On top of everything else, I had latching problems.\u00a0 I enlisted the help of a public health nurse who came over to my house to help me out.\u00a0\u00a0After an hour of what can only be described as\u00a0“breast fondling”, she asked me how I felt overall.\u00a0\u00a0Really???\u00a0\u00a0She couldn’t just leave at\u00a0this point?\u00a0 She already walked me through\u00a0how to get the baby to latch on properly, talked to me about SIDS, baby proofing the house and left me with more pamphlets on newborns than I knew what to do with.\u00a0 Of course, my immediate reaction to her question\u00a0was to break down into tears.\u00a0 I mean, she asked me how I felt!\u00a0\u00a0Well lady, if you really want to know, I\u00a0feel something, and it’s not happy, but I don’t know why.\u00a0 Of course, I couldn’t get those words out cause I was crying too much… my tears dropping down on my newborn baby.\u00a0 She then said to me that if the sadness persists longer than three weeks, I should consider seeing a specialist about it.\u00a0 I know she didn’t mean any harm, but this only upset me more.\u00a0 I mean, I’m a completely healthy, happy, go-lucky kind of girl.\u00a0 I’m NOT depressed!<\/p>\n

Oh ya – did I also mention that Kyle was colicky?\u00a0 He cried a lot and for no reason.\u00a0 I just felt that I went into battle and I lost.\u00a0 I couldn’t stop my son from crying and I couldn’t stop crying.\u00a0 I thought… maybe I’m just not cut out for this job… is there a return policy on newborns??<\/p>\n

And then, the most amazing thing happened… Kyle turned\u00a0three weeks and the crying stopped.\u00a0 My crying at least; his colic continued until he was three months old.\u00a0 I can’t explain why\u00a0I stopped crying by I just did.\u00a0 I finally admitted\u00a0to myself what I couldn’t get a grip on for the past three weeks.\u00a0 I had experienced\u00a0the baby blues.\u00a0 I remembered reading about it, but I never thought it would happen to me.\u00a0 I mean for 1) I’m such a happy person, nothing, especially my baby, would make me feel otherwise and 2) I never heard of anyone else feeling like this.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Kyle and I @ 3 weeks old<\/p><\/div>\n

Thankfully, my friend A and my sister-in-law (who has 3 kids of her own and another on the way) were\u00a0big factors in making the first three weeks pass by without\u00a0me feeling like things will never change or get better.\u00a0 I am forever grateful to them.<\/p>\n

After going through this experience, I can’t help but share my experience with others (when they ask me of course).\u00a0 I don’t do it to scare anyone away.\u00a0 I would never change anything about those first three weeks.\u00a0 They helped me bond with my son and make me love him in a way that would probably not be possible otherwise.\u00a0 And I can’t wait to have more kids \ud83d\ude42 \u00a0 But I just felt that women don’t really talk about this enough.\u00a0 Maybe they’re ashamed?\u00a0 Maybe they don’t want to seem weak or sad when a newborn should bring so much joy?\u00a0 Whatever the reason, I hated the fact that I felt alone and guilty (guilt will be a whole other\u00a0post on its own) for how I felt and I didn’t want anyone else to feel that way.\u00a0 I had two friends reach out to me after they gave birth who had confided to me about feeling this way.\u00a0 I was glad to be able to share my experience with them, and to enable them to feel “normal” and let them know that things do in fact get better (MUCH BETTER)!<\/p>\n

I hope that by sharing this story with others, no new mom will ever feel alone again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m going to let you in on a little secret.\u00a0 It’s something that you’ve probably heard about but never knew anyone who experienced it.\u00a0 It’s a dirty little secret that no one talks about, but it happened to me.\u00a0 It’s called the baby blues, and yes, I had them! 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