{"id":377,"date":"2012-01-26T09:07:09","date_gmt":"2012-01-26T14:07:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mayahoodblog.com\/?p=377"},"modified":"2012-01-26T10:51:15","modified_gmt":"2012-01-26T15:51:15","slug":"for-the-good-of-momdom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mayahoodblog.com\/for-the-good-of-momdom\/","title":{"rendered":"For the good of Momdom"},"content":{"rendered":"

My beautiful and talented friend, Yasmine, has graciously offered to write a guest post for my blog; offering a new perspective on all things motherhood.\u00a0 A wife and loving mother of one of the cutest little boys I know, here is her story:<\/p>\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n

When Maya said she was looking for a guest blog I quickly deleted her email. Too much pressure! Then I was on the subway and thinking about a topic Maya hasn’t covered on this blog. I realized she would never cover it because I don’t think she faced this issue… So I decided to write for all the moms-to-be and new moms and old moms for that matter. I had to write this for all of Momdom.<\/p>\n

I was part of Maya’s mommy group and one of my most vivid memories is sitting down at our first gathering and someone saying: \u00a0Is anyone else headed for divorce? When we all started chuckling (except maya*). I felt the weight of a future custody battle lift off my shoulders.<\/p>\n

After ten years together I thought my husband (J) and I were unflappable, but eight months of sleep deprivation flapped us. Big time. Turns out backpacking through Europe together really isn\u2019t that much of a relationship challenge, after all.<\/p>\n

To say we were on different wavelengths would be an insult to the bitterness of those months. He wanted date nights. I wanted lie-in-bed-while-someone-spoon-feeds-me nights.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

One of our first date nights. I was trying to be carefree<\/p><\/div>\n

He wanted me to watch my ‘tone’. I actually had no idea what \u2018tone\u2019 he was hearing\u2026 my voice was permanently tired and desperate. He wanted to go to Home Depot on the weekend. I did not want to be left alone with this child FOR ANOTHER SECOND. He asked me to shave his head and I went crazy with the shame of not having done any personal grooming in six months. If I so much as stubbed my toe my mind immediately went to \u2013 how can I blame J for this?<\/p>\n

And the impact it was taking on us was sneaky. Because when we were with the babe we were smiling and laughing and happy. The child was a delight during the day. Eventually I started to realize that despite all of the happy smiling, J and I were hardly making eye contact, all the love was baby-bound.\"\"<\/a> After the munchkin was in bed the smiling stopped and the TV went on. It hit me one night when I realized we\u2019d been together all day, but hadn\u2019t looked at each other, you know, like actually taken one another in, the entire time.<\/p>\n

I want to say that we talked and opened up and learned more about ourselves and together overcame the challenge but then I’d be lying. Before that could happen, we had to get some rest. Once the tiny night beast started sleeping we started getting along better.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Stealth mission out of the night beast's room<\/p><\/div>\n

However, after so many little quibbles and larger snaps, we were both oversensitive and the teasing we used to love, didn\u2019t play in the same way for a long time. I find we skew cheesy now, in an effort to not accidentally skew mean. Overly loving? I\u2019m actually really good with that.<\/p>\n

What would a mommy blog be without a few tips? Here\u2019s what I\u2019m going to try to remember next time around:<\/p>\n

Empathy can be hard, especially from the person you love the most. Work to give it, and ask for it when you need it.<\/p>\n

Give up waiting for the 12-hour sleep. It\u2019s a long time coming. Get on with your life, tired and all.<\/p>\n

Remember that you\u2019re a team. Or at least you used to be. In a dark moment J and I wrote the boy a letter \u201cto be read when he\u2019s man enough to handle it\u201d and it briefly let us be in charge again.<\/p>\n

*Maya and John never fight. I tried to hate her because of it, but it\u2019s impossible. She\u2019s impossible to hate. You can hate her for that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My beautiful and talented friend, Yasmine, has graciously offered to write a guest post for my blog; offering a new perspective on all things motherhood.\u00a0 A wife and loving mother of one of the cutest little boys I know, here is her story: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When Maya said she was looking for a guest blog I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[406,124,5309],"tags":[137227456,10319524,3785,4118,34920942,197,46606],"class_list":{"0":"post-377","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-family","7":"category-life","8":"category-parenting","9":"tag-family","10":"tag-first-time-parent","11":"tag-love","12":"tag-mother","13":"tag-parenting-2","14":"tag-relationships","15":"tag-sleep-deprivation","16":"entry","17":"has-post-thumbnail"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nFor the good of Momdom - Mayahood<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mayahoodblog.com\/for-the-good-of-momdom\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"For the good of Momdom\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My beautiful and talented friend, Yasmine, has graciously offered to write a guest post for my blog; 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