I’m always writing about some of the challenges that I’ve encountered to-date as a parent to one kid; now imagine four! Last week, my husband, son and I all flew to Edmonton to visit my brother and his family. They had just welcomed home their 4th child two weeks previously. 
It also happened to fall on the Jewish holiday of Passover which made the dinners even that much more special. My brother’s kids are 6, 3.5, 1.5 and 0.08 :). However stressful and chaotic their home might be, my brother and his wife don’t skip a beat. It’s as if they’ve done this four children thing their whole life. John and I wanted to help out while we were there so we took out Kyle, their dog and three oldest kids for a walk to the park. As soon as we started walking, John asked me: “can you imagine this was our family; four kids and a dog?” And then it hit us – that’s my brother and his wife! And the realization couldn’t have been clearer an hour later when we were exhausted, tired, and defeated by our outing. To be fair, there was snow everywhere and the kids were ill-dressed for the weather; my niece left the house with her slippers on.
It also happened to fall on the Jewish holiday of Passover which made the dinners even that much more special. My brother’s kids are 6, 3.5, 1.5 and 0.08 :). However stressful and chaotic their home might be, my brother and his wife don’t skip a beat. It’s as if they’ve done this four children thing their whole life. John and I wanted to help out while we were there so we took out Kyle, their dog and three oldest kids for a walk to the park. As soon as we started walking, John asked me: “can you imagine this was our family; four kids and a dog?” And then it hit us – that’s my brother and his wife! And the realization couldn’t have been clearer an hour later when we were exhausted, tired, and defeated by our outing. To be fair, there was snow everywhere and the kids were ill-dressed for the weather; my niece left the house with her slippers on.
We have no idea how my brother and his wife seemed to make it all appear so easy. They were obviously just born to be parents; while John and I learned how to be parents. Or perhaps, it’s the fact that my brother’s family is very lucky. They are after all the $2 million dollar family, they have 2 boys, and 2 girls. Exact birth order is: boy, girl, boy, girl. According to some research I did (Wiki answers), the term million dollar family derives from the similar terms “rich man’s family” or “choix du roi”
One son–to inherit and rule the estate…no brothers are needed to work the fields or run the business (because you’re rich) so best deal is not to have second and third sons who will not receive a birthright and will skulk around, envious, making trouble
One daughter–to marry a powerful ally’s son and spread your power and influence
Now, I know this topic is somewhat controversial. The most important thing is to have healthy babies; gender is secondary or of no preference to some. And yes, I do agree that a healthy baby is way more important than gender and there’s no if’s or but’s about it. BUT…let’s be honest, we all secretly wish for one sex over another. I personally have this theory that I’m going to have all boys. I don’t know why, but it’s just what I think. My husband also believes this and is quite happy with it. Even when John and I talk about our future child, we always say “he” or “Kyle’s brother”. I guess we both just have this feeling. Now, if that were to be true, I would love to have two more Kyle’s. He’s such an amazing child, I would even have 100 more (figuratively, not literally). Plus, I’m a bit of a tomboy, so I would fit in well with the boys. But, I’m also a bit of a girly girl. I love getting dressed up and doing girly things. I mean, my favourite part about watching sports is checking out the talent 😉 Also, being a stay-at-home-mom, Kyle has picked up on some of my more feminine habits. For example, he watches me put on face cream and mousse in my hair every morning, so he now wants to do the same whenever I do it. He also packs up a “bag” and carries it whenever we go out. However, it’s filled with balls and cars. So if I were to have a (healthy) girl, I would be ecstatic as well.
At the end of the day, gender aside, I think my brother’s family is lucky because they’re all healthy, happy and loved*
Do you have a million or two million $ family? Did you have a preference for your child(ren)’s gender? If so, did you “get” what you wanted?
* Since we’re very superstitious against the evil eye, I have to state the following after writing that sentence: tfu, tfu, tfu, hamsa, hamsa, hamsa.
Soooo very true. As much as I would love a million more of my baby boys, the thought that I may never get the baby girl I’ve always dreamed of makes me sad. We have always wanted three, and joke around about the possibility of a fourth if we still don’t have a girl…. We are just crossing our fingers for a “iantomasi” family-2boys then the girl!!!
We too have a prayer to ward off the evil eye. I have yet to learn it though, as it requires a phone call to Nonna on Christmas eve at midnight….the only day you are allowed to share 🙂
We’ve got a million dollar family (girl, boy in that order). And we’re thinking of adding another. My preference…not really sure this time. But my husband and I both wanted a girl first, then a boy.
Lucky family! I”m sure whatever you have, it’ll be a perfect addition. And who knows, maybe you’ll have twins??? 1 girl, 1 boy?
Twins would be my preference ;), but I’m pretty sure my husband would have a heart attack if we had two babies at once LOL!
nice post. I have 2 daughters, but secretly wanted a boy and a girl.
I think secretly, we all hope for that 🙂
We are a two million dollar family. A girl, two boys, then another girl. I doubt we’re done though. I just wanted to note that it was totally normal for you to feel exhausted by your experience with 4 kids. You only have one normally so suddenly having 4 is very taxing. What you need to remember though is that your brother and his wife didn’t wake up one day with 4 kids. They had them one at a time, got used to that and then had another. They gradually built their parenting skills and patience. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was their family. 🙂
Thanks for the perspective! You’re right, I’m sure it’s not AS overwhelming once you’re used to having more kids. You sound like a very wise mother! 🙂