Two weeks ago I did the unthinkable… I dropped my son off at a day-camp and I DIDN’T STAY! (Yes, I’m shuddering at the horror too). My son Kyle is almost three years old and will be starting nursery school in September. I figured I better get him ready for “mommy isn’t staying with me?” situation and signed him up for a 2-hour day camp for two weeks. I also joyfully welcomed some alone time, which I haven’t had much of since baby #2 arrived. Here’s how the week unfolded for those of you might be facing similar separation anxiety from you little one.
Day 1 – Surprise!
Walking to class I hear a soft voice whisper “I don’t want to go to class” yet I remain strong and continue forward. We’re in class and everything is “okay” except for a pouty lip here and there. The eyes are getting watery, but there’s no tears yet. We’ve spoken about this day for a few weeks now, even months. So we’re FULLY prepared to be left “alone” in the class for a few hours to play and have fun until mommy comes back. After a long hug and kiss, I walk out and immediately hear my son wailing and calling for me. It’s as if he’s surprised that I left him alone. I hesitate for a moment, thinking of going back in there to grab my son who must be in physical pain but then I realize the truth. I hover around the corner, out of sight, listening to my son cry and call for me at the classroom door. I wait 1 minute, 2 minutes, 3 minutes to what seems like eternity until he’s finally carried away by one of the teachers. I decide it’s time for me to make my move as well. After all, I only have two “free” hours and I had so much planned for the day. As I return to pick up my son, I sneak a peek through the glass and see him sitting happily on the mat listening to story time. Before I leave, I ask the teacher how the day unfolded. She told me that he continued to cry for half an hour after I left, and he had a few other start-stop crying incidents afterwards.
Conclusion – Not a successful first day away, but not a failure either
Day 2 – I know what you’re up to!
We pumped up my son the night before for all of the fun things he’s going to do at camp today. He went to bed excited, or so we thought. Even before we leave for class my son announces that he doesn’t want to go to class today. With a little lot of persuasion, we head off to day-camp. My son asks me to stay with him for “just a little bit.” As I give him a good-bye hug and kiss, the water-works begin; This time, BEFORE I leave. The teacher has to physically remove him from me as he was clutching on to me for dear life. I pretty much bolted out of the classroom and never looked back. When I came to pick him up I was told that he only cried for approximately 5 – 10 minutes after I left.
Conclusion – Not ideal, but things are looking up!
Day 3 – I’m still not happy about this
Mostly similar to day 2 except he only cried for about five minutes after I left.
Conclusion – Getting better
Day 4 – I think I’m okay with this…
While there was the typical resistance from the toddler of a) declaration of not wanting to go to class and b) shedding some tears before I left, he stopped crying the minute I stepped out the door.
Conclusion – things are looking up
Kyle’s artwork from day-camp
Day 5 – hallelujah!! No more crying
In the morning, before we leave for class, my son declares “I’m not going to cry today!”. I look at him in shock, but try to hide my surprise. After all, what he’s saying is like music to my ears. I don’t want to pressure him or anything, but I respond back saying “that’s great buddy. You’re such a big boy, you don’t need to cry. Besides, class is so much fun and I’ll pick you up before you know it”. I might have said too much, maybe he’s going to change his mind, but it is what it is. Walking to camp I try to lead the conversation so he won’t get a chance to say “I don’t want to go to class”. We talk about all of the fun things he’s going to do in class and what we’re going to do after class and on the weekend. We get to class, I give him the usual hug and kiss and guess what? He’s standing there, holding hands with the teacher and he’s not crying. His eyes aren’t even watery! I turn to walk away and he’s fine, he’s still fine. I leave and breathe a big sigh of relief. SUCCESS. We really did it. It only took 5 days, but we did it.
Conclusion – my son no longer suffers from separation anxiety! Wishful thinking, I know, but I’m going to stick to it and that’s that.