The church of the flying spaghetti monster?!?! Is this for real?

I was at a wedding a few weeks ago and a friend of mine mentioned, in passing (as if this isn’t a big deal), how her brother-in-law recently got married under the traditions of the church of flying spaghetti monster. She kept on talking to get to some other point of her story, but I had to stop her right then and there. I mean, was she joking? Did she make it up? Did she really say The Church of the Flying spaghetti monster?

Sure, I’ve heard of the church of scientology. I mean, Tom Cruise is the President or something which obviously made that famous. But I can’t say I’ve heard of the Church of the flying spaghetti monster (FSM)? I have since confirmed it exists! Apparently, the church is 10 million followers strong and is continuing to grow. Followers of this religion refer to themselves as Pastafarian; you know, like Bob Marley the Rastafarian.  I’m sure that just like me, this is starting to make complete sense to you, right? No?  Weird… well, here are some of the details I was able to find out about this “secretive” religion. As I was reading the information on the religion’s main website (http://www.venganza.org/), I couldn’t stop laughing.  But within the first paragraph, there is a clear indication that this is not a joke.  The website clearly noted that “Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.”  So there you have it people, what is written below is not made up (although I wish I could have made it up myself).

• The church believes that the FSM, or “his noodlness”, created the earth thousands of years ago (you read that right, thousands, not millions, or billions of years ago as believed by the big bang theory).  Apparently, when scientists perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact, the FSM changes the results with His Noodly Appendage, thereby changing the age of the artifact as it appears to the scientist.
• There is also a strong belief in pirates which brings me to the only statistic that is consistently discussed that “proves” the validity of their religion: global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. Based on the chart below, it’s clear to see that there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature*.
• In order to teach the belief, one must be wearing full pirate regalia, which is what I’m assuming was worn by the officient to my friend’s brother-in-law’s wedding.  I would have loved to have been a fly (or more appropriately a piece of spaghetti) on the wall for that ceremony!
• They are fond of beer and every Friday is a Religious Holiday

Do you want to be ordained as a Pastafarian Minister of a church? Well apparently, all you have to do is spend $20 US ($30 if you live out of country) and you will receive your certification.  At least based on the web-site (http://www.venganza.org/ordination/), it doesn’t appear that you have to go through a course, be a practicing pastafarian or actually believe in any of this. I wish it was that easy to find someone to marry my husband and I when we had our mixed-marriage ceremony.

My take on this religion is that it’s providing an alternative to people who say that religion subjects people to too many rules.  It’s an easy-going, laid-back religion that anyone can follow.  They’re telling us “hey, if you believe that Moses made the sea split with his stick, than I’m sure you can believe in a flying spaghetti monster”.  Why not, right?  Literary, all you have to do to feel a part of this religion is drink beer and enjoy some spaghetti! I mean, religion doesn’t get much easier than that.

The one thing that became very clear to me early on was that this church is lacking some major funding.  They’re currently on a hunt for a wealthy beneficiary.  Any takers? Well, if you are interested in supporting their cause, you can help out by stopping at their online store and buying one of the many pieces of paraphernalia that they have to sell.  And let me be the first to say that you don’t need to be a believer to love the stuff they are selling.  I mean, who doesn’t want a baby blanket that says “He Boiled For Your Sins”?!?!

May the noodle appendages be with you!

*This one is probably true. I’ve thought long and hard and cannot find another logical explanation!