Stop comPARENTing and just do parenting your way!

Parenting in the 21st century sure does have its challenges. We have like a hundred different labels for the type of parenting styles that we embody including; helicopter, free-range, tiger-mom, attachment and dolphin (I don’t even know what that one is). And you HAVE TO pick one! That’s the rule… according to someone, who probably isn’t a parent. If that’s not enough, we are constantly bombarded by images of the ideal mom. You don’t have to go far to see it – Pinterest and Instagram are pictures upon pictures of how to have the “best” life ever.

Baking with your kids? It’s a great way for the kids to learn a life skill they say! It’s FUN they say! Sure, it’s a great skill and it can be fun but what about the mess, the constant shouting “don’t touch that, it’s hot” or “don’t touch that you just picked your nose!” Where are the pictures that show the reality behind the finished product?

Don’t get me started on crafts! I see kids sitting down nicely at the table, wearing a smock and not mixing up the paint brushes in the different coloured paint all in a pristine white house. HOW? HOW is that possible? Unless perhaps it’s totally staged or the picture was taken within the first minute of them starting the craft. In reality, when I try this with my kids there is no smock (because no one wants to wear it), they sit on the floor, the paint is everywhere and then if they really get their creative juices going, they start painting their body, and five minutes later they are DONE! Done? It took longer to set it all up and to clean up than the entire activity itself!!! AHHHH!

I’m left wondering and pondering where I went wrong. How are all of these other moms capable of doing these activities with their kids so calmly and without much mess? Or are they? Are we seeing the real picture or just a moment that they have provided for us?

While the pictures are beautiful and sometimes they give me great ideas, they are not ‘REAL’. At least they are not my reality. I would rather have a messy house but happy kids. I would rather spend time playing with my kids than worrying about the mess. I would rather hear them laugh and giggle and make memories than bother with doing things the “proper” way. And yes, my kids are often fighting, and I am often yelling and frustrated at the process. That’s my reality and I wouldn’t’ have it any other way. THIS VIDEO from Quaker perfectly sums it all up!

I’ll be the first to admit that I often post only the beautiful moments and not the mess that happens behind the scenes. We need to understand that not everything that we see is the complete picture. That’s why it’s time we stop comparing our parenting ways with one another. Also, what works for one person may not work for another. What one parent enjoys may be a nightmare scenario for another. Lets put our differences aside and support each other instead. Lets unite and agree on one thing – parenting is not easy! There is no one way to do it right and that’s the beauty of it. Lets learn from one another, rely on one another and have fun while we’re at it. At the end of the day, our goal is all the same – to raise independent, responsible kids who will hopefully make a positive impact in the world. If we all just focus on that, think of how much support we would have for one another!!!

Disclosure: Quaker asked me to write about embracing the real side of parenting and encouraging parents to stop comparing themselves to others. In fact, this is why I started my blog, so the fit was natural! The opinions are my own.