How I became a witness to the Holocaust

There’s been a bit of a radio silence on my blog lately, but there’s a reason for that. Last week I was away in Poland and I really wanted to focus on my experience without any distractions – including my blog. I hardly spent any time on social media, with the exception of recapping my daily thoughts and experiences on Instagram stories. Now that I’m back in Toronto I knew I wanted to gather my thoughts and recap parts of my experience and lessons from my journey to Poland. For those who aren’t in the loop, I went with the organization ‘Living Legacy’ and traveled with a group of 130 individuals from Toronto, to visit various concentration and death camps and ghettos from the Holocaust. This was always a trip (not true to the definition of its word as it wasn’t for “pleasure”) that I have always wanted to take as 3/4 of my grandparents are Holocaust survivors. I wanted to see first-hand where the ghettos were, where they were sent, what the camps, barracks, gas chambers and crematoriums look like. And even though I knew a lot prior to my trip,I honestly wasn’t truly prepared for what I learned and saw.

While I have so much to say about what I witnessed, learned and listened to (most importantly the testimonies from the Holocaust survivors who traveled with us), I also feel like I have no words. It’s a common juxtaposition for most people who embark on this journey. My brain is full of knowledge which I can’t make sense of. Why the Jews? Why innocent people who did no harm to anybody? Why seniors? Why children? Why babies? Why were they so disposable and not seen as worthy as the rest of the population? So many questions that don’t have answers.

I have heard too many horror stories that will remain ingrained in my head forever. I have visited too many mass graveyards where we mourned the unnamed. I was brought to tears on a daily basis and I broke down more times than I have in my entire life leading up to this experience. I’m back in the safety of my home now, surrounded by my family, but the tears still keep coming. But that’s good – it means that we won’t soon forget and that the memory of the 6 million Jews will be kept alive for years to come. I worry for the day when the tears over these atrocities will vanish.

I came home a changed person. The realization that TIME can’t be taken for granted came to me when we were at a mass graveyard for 800 kids. Eight hundred innocent souls that were taken away from their parents and thrown into a pit like garbage. How could anyone be so cruel???

I came home feeling grateful for everything that I have. And I don’t even mean the material stuff. I’m truly grateful for my family, my husband and my boys. I realized that on a day-to-day basis, I don’t appreciate them enough. I’m short-tempered, impatient and I definitely don’t spend enough quality time with them. I’m either busy, on my phone, or craving alone time. I feel that now I am at peace with what’s really important in life and I can see the changes in my actions when I am with them.

There’s a reason our tombstones mention our relationships – “beloved daughter, wife, aunt and mother” and not our material assets, social media stats, jobs or any other amazing accomplishments we may have had. That’s because our relationships truly are our best and most important assets. But they are also the ones that we often neglect or don’t prioritize. After a trip like this, this is what stood out for me:

• I realized that today is a gift, and tomorrow is not promised.
• Time is the most valuable commodity
• Don’t be quick to judge because everyone is going through something or has gone through something. Until we’re in the same shoes as someone else, we can’t truly say how we would have acted.
• Always be kind no matter our differences. If it wasn’t for the righteous among the nations (including some SS guards), a lot of the Holocaust survivors wouldn’t be with us today.
• Only make room in your heart for love, not hate.
• Always tell your family that you love them. Too many families were broken and separated within seconds during the Holocaust and they never had a chance to say their final good-byes. To this day, that is the survivors’ biggest pain point!

“When you listen to a witness, you become a witness.” – Elie Wiesel

As I go on my day-to-day life now back in Toronto, I plan on taking this quote to heart. Unfortunately, the Holocaust survivors are a dying generation and it’s up to us, their kids and grandkids, to keep their legacy and stories alive. I plan on living my life with intentions and making each day count to honor the 6 million Jews who didn’t have the same opportunity.

I wanted to end this post to say thanks to everyone who has watched my IG stories and sent me messages of strength. It wasn’t always easy to share and wear my heart on my sleeve, but it was important and knowing that others care too, made it all worth while.

Am Israel Chai!