I’m a mom to three kids, but being a parent does not make you an expert on parenting (unfortunately). In fact, each of my kids is so different from the other that whatever I learned with one, often can’t even apply to the others. Which is why my husband and I often seek guidance and help from our favourite parenting expert, Alyson Schafer. In fact, there have been many instances in which we turned to Alyson in the past which you can read about here.
Our oldest son Kyle is four years old. As a child, he was a typical “moma’s boy.” He was always attached to me and exhibited a lot of anxiety whenever he was away from me. As he grew up, he was still attached to me but also to my husband. He showed a lot of dependency on both of us and in a way, we fed into it, always “babying” him. Since I’m a stay-at-home-mom and my husband often works from home, he was used to having us around to be with him and cater to his needs 24/7. Last year, we signed him up for nursery school three days a week for 2 hours a day to get him ready for full-day Kindergarten. While there was an adjustment period, he seemed to do well a few months in. However, even by the end of the year, he started crying whenever we dropped him off. This is just one of many instances in which we tried to do drop-off programs. He always had a hard time being dropped off knowing we weren’t going to stay with him. It also took him a long time to adjust to staying home with another adult (i.e. his grandparents or aunts and uncles) whenever my husband and I went out for the night or on a few day’s vacation. While he exceeded our expectations with his adjustment nicely to JK, we still notice instances of anxiety. Specifically, he refuses to play in the outdoor playground when there are a group of kids there. He also starts off each gym class by sitting on the bench until HE is ready to join. While he’s eager to have play dates with his friends, he won’t go their houses unless we can stay too. So while John and I have seen some progress, we know there’s still a ways to go.
Apparently, we’re not alone in our experience, and Alyson Schafer has a workshop dedicated just to challenges like this one. Her anxious child workshop will be held at Bloorview Kids Rehabilitation Hospital in Toronto on Saturday February 28th from 9 A.M to 1 P.M. I cant’ wait to attend and learn WHY my son acts this way and walk away with some pointers on how to help him out. You can purchase tickets here!
Is your child anxious? Does your child exhibit any of the following behaviours: Nervous to join new groups? Worrying about what might happen? Constantly asking for reassurance? Still doesn’t want to be away from you?
Alyson will address these issues and cover the following:
- The anatomy of the anxiety – what happens biologically and neurologically when we are anxious
- Genetics and environmental factors
- How underlying fears and perfectionism play a part
- How anxiety presents in children
- Calming techniques
- Correcting Cognitive Distortions (CBT for kids)
- What happens when we jump in too soon
- How to introduce slow & gradual exposures
- Reassurance
- The art of applying encouragement
- When to seek additional support
GIVEAWAY
One lucky reader will receive a ticket, valued at $125 to attend the Anxious Child workshop. Contest is open to residents of Ontario. Enter the giveaway via Rafflecopter (please give it a few seconds to load). Contest ends Friday February 20th, 2015.
My older daughter (8) has Selective Mutism which is an anxiety based disorder which prevents her from being able to speak in certain social situations. At home she is constantly chatting. At school on the schoolyard or with certain peers she’s able to speak. In the classroom with adults or with any other adults at the school (other than myself) she is unable to speak. With adults in the community unless she knows them well or has already been speaking to them, she’s unable to speak.
Her milestones in 2014 – she spoke to my older sister and her one cousin (25) for the first time!
I cannot tell you how much I would love to hear Alyson speak on this topic. My child likes to know how everything is going to happen and has difficulty with change. I’d love to win this prize!
My oldest is only 4, he finds it difficult to try new things and step outside his comfort zone