If you’ve been following my blog, you know that my oldest son is COMPLETELY obsessed with his pacifiers. He’s not even picky about which one he uses, he JUST NEEDS IT. In fact, he couldn’t do with just one. My son always had one in his mouth and another two in each of his hands. My husband and I didn’t mind though. My husband used a pacifier as a baby and didn’t get rid of it until he was four. I didn’t mind because the pacifier would often sooth my son and helped him fall asleep. As a SAHM, it was music to my ears. Why would I want to get rid of it??
It wasn’t until a recent visit to the dentist that we were faced with reality. My son had a slight overbite and we should try to get rid of his pacifier before he turns three.
So we came up with a plan! We were sure our son would go for it. It involved a pacifier fairy and lots of gifts and his third birthday. The plan was set in motion and we spoke about said fairy with our son almost daily. We wanted to make sure he was 1) EXCITED and 2) prepared for the big change.
However, our son had his own plans. While we were up at the cottage for vacation, my son came to my husband and I and told us that his pacifier is “broken”. On closer examination, we determined that the ends were chewed off. While we had contemplated that perhaps it was the mice who had done it, we realized that it was my son when he handed us another “broken” pacifier the next day. And so, over four days, one broken pacifier after another, we told him that we don’t have any more pacifiers to give him (we weren’t home after all….).
After verifying with us over and over (I think for a total of five times) that in fact there are no more pacifiers and that they are in fact all “broken”, he seemed to be at peace with his new situation. He didn’t really ask for the pacifier and he fell asleep without it. We figured that this new reality would probably be short-lived, but to our surprise, our son was fine for the rest of the vacation.
We only experienced one set-back. When we returned home, we quickly rummaged through our house to make sure there were no pacifiers lying around. Apparently, we didn’t do a great job. One night, we found our son sound asleep in his bed with one pacifier in his mouth and another his hand. Apparently, he found two pacifiers in the cracks of his bed. We figured that if we snuck it out of his bed in the middle of the night, surely he would forget all about it in the morning or at least think it was a dream. We were on to something, right? NO!! Come morning, our son insisted that he had found two pacifiers at night. We played dumb all day long but he didn’t give up easily. My husband joked that pacifiers are like crack…. once you get a small taste, you need more!
Well, my son turned 3 this past Friday and I’m happy to report that it’s been “pacifier-free” for two months now! Even with our 8 month-old still using it. Of course, now we’re dealing with a few more tantrums but I’m not sure if it’s because he doesn’t have a pacifier to self-sooth or if it’s because he’s in his troublesome three’s. Either way, I just think he looks much cuter without it and I know we’ll probably save some money down the road dental work. So really, it’s a win-win!
Did you have a child that was attached to his pacifier? How did you / they wean off the pacifier?
Thanks for posting this article! My son is 3 1/2 & exactly like you described, one in his mouth & one in each hand. I just don’t want to be that horrible mother that takes all of them away at once. Like yourself, it doesn’t bother my husband or me that he still has it & we have got it to the point now where he only has them when he’s not feeling well or for bedtime as a self soother, no pun intended there 😉 I bought him a Curious George sock monkey in an attempt to replace them last years. An exchange attempt much like the fairy you had planned on his 3rd birthday. At first it was an easy sell but things quickly changed when reality set in that the monkey meant no soothers, lets just say I broke down. Its taken a bit but hes finally now at the point where at bed, he’s more adamant that he has George rather than a ‘ninny’ which he came to on his own terms. I’m struggling with getting rid of them all together though, all at once, we’ve tried getting rid of all of them in the house, but somehow he always haa a secret stash. It’s just nice to see an article from a mom who is okay with soothers and understands it needs to be on gradual terms and at thier own pace. Here’s hoping that the night time soother routine will soon dwindle for us too 😉
Hi Steph,
Thanks for sharing your story with me. Yes, there is definitely no rush. I honestly see such a change in his behaviour and I’m sure that if he still had the pacifier, he’s be so much better at self soothing. But c’est la vie. we can’t have it all, can we? lol The fact that it’s already down to just sleep time is a huge step. If that was the case for us, I wouldn’t care at all when he’s stop using it and the only reason we did care was because the dentist told us. The best advice I can give you is to ensure that the decision is your child’s or that he has input into it. It’ll make things so much easier for everyone. Check out Alyson Schafer, she’s our go-to parent guru and she’s so straight forward and smart. I’m sure she has a thing or two to say about pacifier weaning. Good-luck and keep me posted.
Awwww! Wow! You know, my little one was using her pacifier until she was 2. I got a lot of flack from people telling me how bad it was and that I wasn’t parenting the right way, yadda yadda yadda. We went to Montreal for Christmas just after she turned 2 and I purposefully left her soothers at home. Actually, I kept 2 in the suitcase just in case. I told her that Mommy had forgotten them at home and we were far, far away from home. She cried and cried and wanted her soother. The first night was hell. The second not so bad. By night 3, she was all good. No more soother after that.
Isn’t amazing how kids can adjust quickly? much better than adults I think 😉
My son has never used a pacifier (or dummy, as we call them in the UK), but he’s constantly sucking on two of his fingers. He’s not yet 18 months so I’m not overly concerned just yet, but at some point we’ll have to try to address it!
yes… the great old thumb vs. dummie debate. Hopefully he’ll outgrow it just like most kids outgrow using their pacifiers. It’s a bit trickier taking their fingers away 😉 good luck & keep us posted