Last year, I did this crazy thing where I brought my son Kyle home from school for lunch every day. I cringe just thinking about it. It was a pain in the a$# getting three boys, four years and under, dressed, out the door, walking 15 back and forth to school (twice), eating a a meal quickly and having almost no time to relax or play. The whole experience was stressful and exhausting. Not to mention, Nate, my youngest, was a newborn. Like, really, really newborn! He was born two days before Kyle started school. Lunch time was also during Ryan’s nap which meant that he would be interrupted or go down late. Add in the chaos of winter, and I was on the verge of tears on a daily basis.
My daily walk to school looked like this!
Looking back, it’s easy to see why this wasn’t a very good idea but at the time we made the decision, the opposite was true. Kyle is not good with change and since I’m a stay-at-home-mom, he wasn’t used to being away from the house for a good portion of the day, let alone a full day of school. We thought bringing him for lunch would help with the transition. Also, my husband John has such fond memories from his childhood coming home for lunch every day. While not a decision factor, all other stay-at-home moms from my neighborhood were bringing their kids home for lunch. It just seemed like the thing to do. Not giving it much thought on my part (I blame the pregnancy hormones), I just agreed to the idea and went with it. It only took a few months into the school year to realize how wrong I was. However, it wasn’t fair to Kyle. We made him a promise, and we weren’t going to back out on it (unless he really wanted to stay at school, of course… but he DIDN’T).
So this year, we started school on a fresh slate. We told Kyle that in SK, he will need to stay at school for lunch. Luckily, he didn’t press us too hard for the reason. While on occasion he does bring up the subject, asking us to bring him home for lunch, overall, it appears that the change has been a positive one. Kyle has become more social and has definitely conquered the playground. This a big change from last year when he refused to play in the playground during recess time. He is more confident and I’m a happier mom. I’m not longer stressing out (okay, I still stress out, but about other reasons), cursing inside my head, feeling rushed and physically exhausted. I feel SANE when lunch time rolls around! My kids don’t need to see me mad, rushed or totally losing her patience on a daily basis. It’s not how I wanted to parent, but the experience was so overwhelming! My body and mind just responded to the situation in a way that was not congruent with my personality.
Don’t get me wrong, I would love to bring him home for lunch, if the situation was right. I envy my friend whose back window overlooks the school yard while our house is almost two block away from being out of district. I also think that once all the kids will be in school full-time it would make it easier to bring them home for lunch; at least occasionally. Of course, by then, they might not want to, preferring to stay at school with their friends.
I know there are a lot of moms who are probably worried about leaving their children at school for a full-day, but I want you to know that it’s been a great experience for us. Do what works for you, but don’t feel bad if you can’t make lunch-at-home work. Every situation is different and every decision is based on different factors. Either way, your child will grow up to be a great, independent, social kid, regardless of WHERE they eat their lunch!
